Monday, November 27, 2006

Down In the 'Nati

A couple of weeks ago I made my way down to Cincinnati for my third overnight trip down there ( I didn't blog about the second trip because too many laws were broken that weekend and quite frankly I don't remember most of what happened).

The weekend promised to be a wild one. Hortor was throwing my buddy Jonny 5 a going away party. Jon took a job in Washington and will be leaving this week. So Jon, his fiance Jane, and KFC (our buddy from work) and I headed down to the Queen city for one hell of a send off bash. Morgan and Ella went to visit her best friend Angela that weekend, so as not to bring the baby along for all of the drunken debauchery.

Horton recently got a new place up on Mt. Adams with his brother, 'Little Hort' who just moved to the 'Nati. It's right across the street from Crowley's, which incidentally is where Hortor used to live right next door too a couple of years ago. Hortor's new bedroom has a view of his old apartment.

Little Hort, Hortor, Jonny and myself went to the radio station to do Hortor's Saturday night show. It was a blast. This was the second time I had done the show, and it was just as fun as the first time if not more fun.

Little Hort co-hosts the show with Hortor and Jon and I were the guests. The listeners were told that the show had accidentally been double booked and that Jon was a representative from the Butterball Hot line and he was there to talk about preparing your Thanksgiving bird.

I was an impressionist that had been on the "David Letterman Show" the week before during Impressionist Week, and I was performing across the river in Kentucky later that night. Every time Jon would try to tell them how to prepare the turkey I would jump in as Gilbert Gottfried, Norm McDonald, Christopher Walkin, or Sean Connery. The Show was pre-taped so there were a lot of takes, due too hysterical fits of laughter. Speaking of which, at the halfway point we were treated to Hortor's WD Dance, where Hortor actually sprays WD 40 on himself in order to loosen his joints allowing him to bust a move. Please to enjoy.

After we taped the show we all went over to Jimmy's House to watch the big Ohio State/Michigan game. There was much beer and Jimmy made a hell of a brisket. The Hortor Bros. brought a crock pot half full of chili that they cooked up. Why only half full, because the night before Steve decided to test out the chili to make sure it was okay and ended up putting about half of it away. I didn't get any.

After Ohio won, we went back to Hortor's for the going away party. The radio show was on the air by this time and when we were in the middle of conversations we'd stop and run to the stereo, and say "Listen to this part it's really funny". Jimmy called us "narcissistic boners".

Here's a shot of Jon, Jimmy and Jane hanging out near the Keg.

Hortor had this Spatula that was crafted in Hell in his Kitchen, It's good for omelets.

Hortor gave me that hat that I'm wearing. Minutes after we arrived he said, "This hat is now yours, and you have to wear it to the party tonight. That's the new rule. Every time you come to the 'Nati, you get a new hat."

Last time I was there he gave me a Cincinnati Reds baseball cap. I love that hat.

The Hortor Bros. have the largest collection of Aviator Sunglasses that I've ever seen. These boys really love "Top Gun".

Speaking of Aviators. Jimmy gave me a demonstration of what he sounds like when he's giving in cabin flight announcement as he's cruising through the friendly sky's.

Hortor also invited Pop/R&B singer Josh Hoge and his guitarist Steve Miller to the party. Nice guys, I bugged them for a while talking about the different kind of bands that I like, The Gimmie Gimmies and Ween for instance.

Funny thing, after the party had been going for a while one of the guests who came later came up to Hortor and said. "I was listening to your radio show tonight. How did you get that guy from David Letterman? He was funny." Ha!

After much jubilation, everyone went over to the Wine Bar, I went in for about a minute but decided to go back to Hortor's and crash, I was pretty wiped and I'm old. I was asleep on the hide-a-bed upstairs when at about 4 or 5 AM I heard music coming from down stairs.

I went downstairs and The Hortors were down there with two guests from the party, one of them had a guitar and was cranking out all kinds of Music. At this point Jon, Jane and KFC were all crashed out upstairs. I sat down and grabbed a beer and rallied for about another hour.

For some reason Little Hort started handing out the rest of the plastic drink cups.

The Next thing I knew the room turned into a sea of green plastic and uncontrollable laughter as cups flew everywhere. The guy with the guitar ran out of the room clutching it the whole time screaming something about "three thousand dollars".
After that I was done and went back upstairs and hit the sack.
All in all a another great trip down to the 'Nati.

On the way back I was finally able to take a picture of "Big Butter Jesus" as we passed by it.




Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Happy "Creepy" Turkey Day!

A couple of weeks ago I was sitting at the news desk typing away at my computer. I got up to go do something and when I turned around I saw what seemed to be an infant stuffed inside a roasted turkey on one of the television monitors behind me.

I instantly did a double take I wasn't sure what I was looking at. Then the shot changed and the camera revealed several babies dressed as cooked food items. All laid out on serving platters.

Notice the empty Caesar Salad costume off to the side. That baby smartly went into hysterics and saved himself from having to go onto national television dressed as lettuce and croutons.

As I continued to watch on horrified, I realized I was watching "Martha Stewart Living" and that for some reason the guest thought that this was a" good Idea" and decided to share her gift of dressing up babies as scruptous food stuffs. It was like a page out of Hansel and Gretal.

It seems that she got the Idea when she dressed as Martha for Halloween last year, and decided to get her baby in on the act by dressing him up as a perfectly cooked "Butterball". I just think it's messed up man.

By far the most disturbing was this little Suri Cruise look alike who was passed out (oh god I hope the little nipper was passed out) inside an apple pie with a serving knife on top of it. The little peanuts' lifeless little body really creeped me out.

Anyway Sweet dreams.



Friday, November 17, 2006

She's Walking!!!!!

She's Walking, She's Walking, She's Walking, She's Walking!!!!!!

Nuff said?



Sunday, November 12, 2006

Ella's First B-Day Party

Last Month was Ella's Birthday. I've finally gotten around to editing her birthday party video and posting it.

I hate the was my voice sounds on the video, plus I do this weird thing where I laugh and then suck the air back in, passing through my cheeks so it makes a stupid noise. I hate it when I hear myself make that noise.

We've also have hit another milestone in the last couple of weeks, ELLA HAS STARTED TO WALK! Just a couple of steps at a time, but she has made it about 4 feet a couple of times. I haven't been able to get any pics or video of her doing it yet, but I will keep trying.